Friday, October 30, 2015

Carbohydrate Craving Kittens #3

Dear Kittens,

I get it, carbs are amazing.  Lord knows I couldn't possibly make a satisfying sandwich without them, i wake up in the night sometimes craving a nice, fat bagel, and don't even get me started on my life-long commitment to pasta.

But here's the thing:  Genetically speaking, as a Homo sapien, I am an omnivore.  And you, genetically Felis castus - or Felis domestica - are a carnivorous mammal.  And that is why I cannot comprehend what drives this inner compulsion of yours to seek out and consume CARBOHYDRATES.

Two days ago i bought two loaves of bread on sale, thinking I would slice one of them and freeze it, thus storing some extra food for the coming weeks when I would not have time to go purchase fresh bread for dinner.  You -- RONAN -- have spoiled this plan.

Exhibit A & B: A previously pristine loaf of 12-Grain Bread (yes, really) that you have mangled through the plastic bag and torn pieces out of for your late night snacking pleasure.

Exhibit A.
Exhibit B.



Exhibit C & D:  Your completely guilty (if completely adorable) face.
Exhibit C. (w/ possibly accomplice?)
Exhibit D.

Look.
I love you.  And I like carbs.  And I get if you like carbs, too.  But for the love of god, stop eating my bread!

Sincerely,
Your frustrated human,

Rain